Are You Locked in an Unhappy Story?

Hello from the Eurostar on the way to Paris.

Travel is powerful for many reasons.  One big reason is it lessens thinking and expands experiencing of the present moment.  The combination of quieting the racing mind and opening to experience creates a space in which creativity flows and counterbalancing occurs.  Consider adding some more travel to your schedule this year, particularly to places you have not been and experience the opening that can occur.

A couple days ago Christian and I were walking the streets of London heavily debating (okay arguing) an issue.  At one point he said “I can’t believe we are in one of the greatest cities of the world, arguing about this again.”  It seems our thinking (therefore our “problems”) followed us to London.

We aren’t unhappy, though we were definitely having an unhappy moment which caused me to contemplate – what is the source of the unhappiness that manifests itself in fear, anxiety, tension?

In my world, two things magnify this dynamic – relationships and business.

I see unhappiness play out in my office daily.  Whether it’s a phone call about a deal with an incompetent coop agent, the horrible seller, an outrageous buyer, a new ridiculous policy…  I also see fear of the lack of business, tension created by accountability, and plenty of “he/she just rubs me the wrong way…”

So my question is what is the story you’ve created for yourself that locks you in your unhappiness?

To understand my question you must first separate you from your story.  Your story is the lens through which you see the world which is, amongst other things, the accumulation of culture and life experiences.  My story is Brandon Green, born in Wyoming, raised mostly in Iowa as a Mormon, toured with Up With People, fell in love, moved to Baltimore, got fired, dumped, moved to Washington DC entered real estate in 2001 and so on.  I am however more than my story.  More on that another time.

An interesting thing about stories – they can be uplifting and inspiring, or rather depressing and unfortunate. 

Life is an accumulations of both stories.  What you experience in the now depends on which of your many stories you choose to bring forward into the present.  It’s like a pair of glasses and at any moment in time you choose which pair to put on.  Do you choose the glasses with the clear lens and come to the experience with curiosity and acceptance of what is in this moment?  Or do you choose the glasses with a heavy film of oil, through which your view is obstructed?  Or maybe you choose the sunglasses to block out the reality of what is in front of you all together.

Are you locked into your unhappy story of independence at the cost of accountability you know you need?  Are you locked into your unhappy story of extravagance at the cost of your financial wellbeing?  Are you locked into your unhappy story of skepticism, anger, pride, fear, at the cost of valuable relationships and growth?  Are you locked into your unhappy story of control at the cost of your peace?  Are you locked into your unhappy story of rejection at the cost of your lead generation? 

Eckhart Tolle says – “Emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.” 

Awareness that you are locked in an unhappy story is the key to unlock and release it, providing you with an opportunity to create a new beginning, a new story – one that helps you create and grow your business, your life and your relationships as you truly desire.